Im strongly considering going back into the service if they will take me. Im 31 with 6 years of special operations background, 8 years total service but after 14 years of war I’m no unicorn and as a Recon Marine IM NOT SPECIAL. Its funny I can track the slide of my military career the second I tried to care about someone besides the Corps. The second I split my love for something else that was the second my heart wasn’t in for the sacrifice it takes to be a professional soldier. Essentially you have to tear your soul in two to live in both worlds. The Savage and the Civilized.

The Savage world inhabited only with killer apes whom have no tact, diplomacy or woman. Just hate, violence and testosterone. The only beauty is in your mind and you use the greatest virtues to create a false reality of what and who you fight for. When you come back to the Civilized world where your wife and family live. It is not the beautiful Starry night #VanGough you fantasized about but rather a developed corrupted landscape littered with franchises brought to you by corporate America. Where you can escape to your phone and detach further from the ones you love.

With me having to live in these 2 worlds left my wife never fully able to understood or trust me. She always felt as though I was hiding something. In truth I was hiding a couple of things. I was hiding the evil that it takes to survive in the wilderness and the disgusting apathy it takes to survive in civilization. With neither of us living up to each other’s expectations our marriage fell apart and I was left trying to find love in someone or something that could fulfill both. Since my military service ended 2 weeks after my marriage. I threw my focus on finding a replacement for my wife to provide the family I worked and sacrificed so hard for but could never create. I also held on to the hope of being able to be the primary parent for my children but once my ex-remarried and settled down that basically washed away the thought of that ever happening.

Then I turned to contracting and thought making a bunch of the White Man’s money could give me happiness. Until I found that it was just whore money and you have to spend it to wash away the pain it took to earn it. In the end leaving you in a vicious cycle that makes for a great time but gives you a black soul. Now I have recently come to the realization that I need to give my life entirely to a purpose knowing the love will never be reciprocated because I have found If I love a person I can only expect disappointment. So I guess for me I have to give myself to something that will never love me back and my options seem clear rejoin the service or marry a stripper.

If someone “Misspeaks” they’ve said something racist, misogynistic or homophonic. When they “Misrepresent” they speak on someone else’s behalf without ever consulting with them. When they “Misremember” they are lying. Brian Williams is a liar.

Why is this important or relevant “everyone knows the media is full of liars” #MSNBC #FauxNews #CommunistNewsNetwork and there “lies” the rub. Does anyone really know anything? These “news” agencies don’t feed us facts they feed us entertainment but its not obvious mind poison like your TMZ or UsWeekly. It is packaged and sold as a “healthy food” for the mind. That not only should one consume with their family but also guide one’s life from the nourishment it provides. But make no mistake the difference between poison and food is black/white and any mixing of the 2 leads to the same fate… Death. People bitch about putting labels on what goes in their mouth. #Monsanto but don’t give a god damn about what goes in their mind. They just vilify those who have a different mental diet.

This man (there are many like him but this man is caught) is nothing more than a puppet for organization’s that hand pick stories that not only keep America divided but also tuned in. For nothing more than advertising dollars and one other thing… Power. By turning over your thoughts, opinions and essentially your individuality to a pack of liars makes you a liar by proxy and the sad thing about liars is that they have no identity of their own. They try to put on a false bravado to impress others but in fact what they are really doing is putting on chains because once a lie is born from that point on one is bound in a false reality. Where the masters are anyone who becomes aware of the truth. They sell their identity for the scraps of people’s attention and approval.

What I found most amusing about this whole unveiling of the truth was that it was uncovered by the men he tried to give false alms to. Which happened to be men who serve in the United States Army. Those men know that truth is the only gratification they need not false praise from a whore. Now not only is this “news” anchor in question but shouldn’t his network be as well? Nope. People will still swipe right on what this asshole and whatever their trusted brand has to say.

“Well I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.”

Take back your identity! Shrug off your chains! Cast the liars and hypocrites out of the temple of your mind! Think for yourself and become your own master! Turn off the fucking Television and put down your iPhone! Stop being part of the collective and start challenging what your told. As my High school Latin teacher #MrOniell once told me concerning authority.

Ego Secundus Coniecto Omnia- I second guess all

People think I live a glamorous life with all my travel, partying with models and excessive alcohol abuse. They see the images I project without understanding the life I live and what I sacrifice to make it possible. The truth is I sell my body and soul to a client who doesn’t give a fuck about me. Before I leave I have thoughts of escaping my life but as soon as I board Platform 9 & 3/4 I get a cold rush that washes over me that I actually equate to comfort. I can no longer be touched by emotion and I am prepared to do what needs to be done to get through another nights work.

Once I arrive at the job I turn inward for escape focusing on self improvement so that when I return I can leave this life behind knowing full well that probably wont be. I know Im addicted to the Highs and Lows of what I do. I also know that the life I live at home perpetuates my lifestyle because the problem with whore money is that it comes to easy and goes to fast. You have to make up for the the time lost and drink away what it took to obtain it. That money becomes a drug that I suck every last drop out so that I feel forced to go turn another trick to get more.

It wasnt always this way. There was a time when I was a hero surrounded by god’s who would die for me. Now Im surrounded by contract girls who would sell me out for a larger slice of the pie or just to watch me burn. Honor amongst thieves I suppose. Dancing for dollars or fighting for them the difference is nil. I use to fight for love now I just want to feel it but until then Ill have my BMW and Rolex to keep me warm at night. #RWR