The adventure begins the way every adventure starts with my friends. “After a long hard night of partying I licked the plate and opened a beer.” Hambone(aka Slice) came to and we had already decided today would be the day we set sail but we were in need of a vessel. So the first rule of any pirate is commandeer a vessel. So we went over to our friends house in Golden Hill who told me I could have a raft for this little adventure and it was located on the porch. Only 1 problem the front door was locked and no one was home. next thing you know I’m removing the screen from a window and jumping right thru. Over all time on target was less than 3 min and the only reason it took that long was the raft had been returned to the shed (because I came a couple days late for the raft.) After the target was acquired I went to make my escape out the window and Slice had put the screen back up and was standing look out at the end of the drive way. Nothing like starting your day with a professional B&E. It also shows you the guise of safety most people live in because a metal door and a pit bull may deter most at the front door but slipping in thru the side with a dog treat is the combination to most security systems.

Now that we had a boat we needed an engine we debated weather to go to Walgreens or Target but we didn’t want to be deterred from our objective so we agreed “if Odin wills it.” and he did for when we got to OB we saw this cute beachey rocker chick and we asked were we could get some paddles. Since she lead us in the direction of a locally owned business we decided to support the local economy and not raid it. So now we had our vessel and our engine time to build the boat and set sail. 1 problem this was an inflatable raft and if we wanted to spend our day blowing something it wasn’t going to be a raft from REI. After asking a few people in the parking lot we struck gold and it was time to build the boat. Then it was high boat carry to the river christen the USS Sea-Word #Cword and set sail. For those not aquatinted with the San Diego river it starts at the Ocean and pushes thru mission valley. We weren’t shore how far we were going to take it before we ran ashore but in our minds next stop Arizona and if we ran out of supplies aka beer along the way we would go ashore and raid local business and escape back to the low-seas.

For the most part the the voyage really took place in our minds as we talked about life and the secrets of the universe (with a dick joke sporadically thrown in there from time to time). Then we started to get into Mission Valley (which I would have love to have scene before all the condos and shopping malls.) were every so often we would have to push ashore and launch reconnaissance for where we could relaunch the Sea-Word for we fell upon a man made dam and of course it was time to take a shot of Jack.

Just as we were about to shove off again a camper came on our pos and we had a 5 min conversation about life and collecting cans. If you notice I said camper and not homeless for that is what she self identified as and I would say in life how people define themselves is who they are. The really cool thing about our exchange is we were just people not homeless or privileged its funny how much different homeless people act when they think your in the club. They are friendly they talk and engage they aren’t the crazy awkward people you always see. (Try and spend 1 day on the street and look the part and the people who look and act weird is everyone else.)  So after spending 5min hearing about her life we never talked about struggles just our own perspective reality. She told us how much she makes in a day collecting cans and how she is happy as long as she has her cigarettes. That tripped me out that she works however many hours a day just to earn a pack of smokes. In that moment it occurred to me that we all do the same thing but instead of cigs its a car, house or whatever other vice we fancy but the human emotions and the human interaction is essentially the same wether your “camping” in mission valley or balling in La Jolla.   

Anyway after we said our goodbyes we set sail again and eventually we hit Arizona which oddly enough looked like hotel circle in mission valley. So we punched our way thru the wilderness and called Carlos for a ride. All in all it was a fun adventure and we tried to get every experience we could out of it and I know what your thinking why didn’t you get a blow job from that can lady at least for the story and the answer is “There are some stories even I just don’t want.”

Fair-Winds and Following Seas,

Beaux