“Meditations”- Marcus Aurelius (translated from Latin by the Rich White Republican #RWR)

I have spent the last 6 weeks breathing life into a bloated corpse and now that I have nursed myself back to health I want to crucify the man I try to perfect but there is a tiny voice of dissent that cries out inside me. As every day passes I get stronger and healthier than the man I was while simultaneously I step closer to calvary. Why?… Why the fuck do I want to bathe in hooker sweat and hard narcotics…. Besides from the fact that it’s awesome fun and takes me to a place thats not of this earth. Being handsome, in shape with a pocket full of green backs is the American fucking dream #EmphasisOnTheFucking but why does the constant pursuit of happiness suck me dry? I guess that question is rhetorical because I don’t even think I want to know the answer and if faced with it I would turn away to join my Demons for a round of Bolivian Nose Coffee. #TasteTheFreshness If I really had to take a stab at the problem its not that life is short but many of the chapters that fill our book will come to an end. Which is not to say is the end of our story lets just say the end of Chapter 17, 21 or 35 #ItWasaVeryGoodYear and for me right now I think that I am stuck in a really awesome chapter. The problem is I feel like Im ashamed to be proud of my life or accomplishments. The pursuit of selfishness is somehow deemed vulgar even though there is enough sunshine at the beach for everyone. I do recognize that if I don’t prepare for whats next certain characters in my life wont stick around for the upcoming plot twist and for that I cant live entirely for myself. Although it is no burden to be surrounded by amazing people who can spread load the weight and provide in the merriment. The burden comes from me… I expect more out of myself and in a pursuit for perfection I like to occasionally set fire to everything and start over because who doesn’t enjoy a bonfire with their friends. I return to America in 2 weeks to set the world on fire. Luckily I have a goddess to help me tend to the flames.