The world is a different place then it was moments before. Right Now my mind is clear and there is no shame, hatred, lust, love… nothing its just empty. There is a peace in my current state its almost like Im pushing away any outside thought and everything is flowing from within but its so desolate there is no Nirvana. Just Nietzschen God is Dead, nothingness. From this state were do I turn? what do I want to accomplish? Im feeling like Neil Armstrong taking one small step but not from his perspective Im capturing his moment that was projected 50 years ago.

Fuck dat, Lets get inside his helmet… Im feeling like I am in the birth canal. Should there be lights? everything is metallic and has a submarine type feel with these locked hatches. Im in my space suit the silvery kind that appears more form fitting with crazy snowboarding gloves. as I open the hatch for the first time I want to say I’m eclipsed by darkness the light is truly within my own vessel. Im not afraid because I should already be dead and unlike the real astronauts I don’t know the science of the pressure that will actually kill me. “Oh fuck, its so fucking dark” Are the thoughts that race through my mind as I poke my head out of this little tin can. Those bastards at NASA should have sprung for security lights to pop on for detection of movement on this piece of shit. Did that even exist 50 years ago or is it something I can bring back to earth and make a fortune on? Well its obviously not abyss or id climb the fuck back inside and slam the hatch shut and beam myself back up, fuck what Mr. Scott says. The  Ladder is to my right and I take it down rung for rung. I plant my feet on solid Moon. It has a desert like feel to it. As I scan the Moon it looks the way its always been projected in the same footage everyone on earth has seen except the earth looks fucking massive and uncomfortably close to me not far away like the moon appears to us but like right up in my mother fucking face. If anything that is what is projecting the light into my reality. I know the science and distance is all incredibly off but this is my trip to the moon fuck you Niel and Buzz. Well if I am the first mother fucker on this bitch I mine as well do my job because if I don’t get pictures it means I wasn’t there. Im assuming I have inter-suit communication otherwise we’d be on some basic ass sign language with our space gloves on. 

“Hey Douche-Bag, get the camera.”-Me

Up until this point I have been alone and I guess at this point I still am. So I climb back into my little pod which is surprisingly empty. With a command chair in the center and a pole about a foot wide rises up from floor to ceiling. I see an old school Film Camera like the kind Steam Boat Willy would operate in the previews. I can see him now whistling and tapping his head to the musical notes he creates himself. As I reach for the camera a chill runs down my spine no particular reason Its just cold on the Moon. Although one would think my suit would be heat regulated. Anyway time to go back outside but this mother fucking Camera is a bulky son of a bitch. So I swaddle it in my right arm and clumsily make my way down the ladder. Time to make “that one small step for man” my first real step is more of a leap as I lower down with my lead leg and really try to propel myself forward and as i lift off my smile is as large as the earth beside me. Ive never been this happy in the feeling of weightlessness matched with forward progress but now as I descend from what feels like an effortless 5 foot high jump it isn’t fear but the excitement one gets from going down a roller coaster when i impact on the surface. I drop to a knew from impact but Im not daunted just stoked that Im skipping around alone on what essentially my own world. Back to the task at hand… Creating the most epic selfie Vine of all time but because the earth is giving me the light it cant be in the photo other wise it will wash me and my cool space car out and bitches be loving my NASA/American flag paint job. So I set up the tripod get the camera up and running hit play and shuffle back into my ship. poking my head back through the port hole I see the American flag up on the wall the way it was on the trak vehicle I inserted from when we took back Fallujah. I take it off the wall and open up a door in that giant stripper pole in the center of my ship and get out a staff for the flag. Now I have to think of my own phrase for the conquest of the moon that represents all of humanity. “As I explore the farthest galaxies I will never forget where I come from.” Not exactly the Universal Brotherhood encapsulated in Neil’s speech but hey this is my world and I suppose this is my philosophy on exploration. Now that Ive figured out what I want to say I leap out of the porthole without fear of the impact on the ground that awaits below as I look down I feel as though Im 20 feet high and as I land I thrust my spear into the Moons surface like a spike into the heart of a vampire. The smile on my face is Devilishly wicked and I can taste blood, I taste conquest and a hunger inside me grows. I leave the flag and turn to the camera pick it up by the trip-pod and smash it onto the ground and stomp it under foot like its biting the curb. With every stomp an anger grows inside me and a hatred for all those who are watching from earth. Im now imagining they are watching this feed live and the last thing they see before the image cuts out is a gloved middle finger. Feeling full of ego and contempt for the world I make my way back up my ladder seal my hatch and prepare to blast off… But I know Im not going home.