In all truth its a mixed bag and the following will be shared with prejudice and positive. I’ll start with my prejudice and hopefully finish on a positive note…

I acknowledge that I am bigoted from having been at war with the followers of Mohammad my entire adult life. Although I acknowledge that is geopolitical. I was born in the West and when I went to war I did so not against the faith but in defense against the attack that took place upon my country on 9/11 coupled with the expulsion of a Fascist Dictator in Iraq for in my eyes how could every other generation of Americans hear the call to arms and I feign being deaf to such a call.

So I enlisted in the Marines for love of country. Ideologically speaking at that point I had no dog in the fight for at that time my enemy was an oppressive regime. After Saddam Hussain was toppled and the radicals moved in I had to dig internally to understand their fight. Coming from a Western nation who spent more time abroad I found more of a connection with my enemies than my own citizens. The men I engaged with in combat did so to preserve their country and way of life. Which in truth are at odds with where I am from. To this day I still respect my enemy.

Concerning Islam and those who practice the faith the core difference between the 2 lye in the fact that Islam requires you to submit to Mohammad and you have to do so 5 times a day. For the devout they project the desire to submit to a higher power. Which is where my divide comes into play. To me the act of submission is an act of subservience to something. Thus making you a slave and stealing your individuality.

The Christ AKA Jesus rebelled against the establishment who wanted to “Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” He also gave salvation to those who make the conscious decision to follow not to submit but to transcend and choose your path to “salvation”.

In my travels and conflict in the muslim world I have found that the identity of self is removed. Which is why everyone is named Mohammad and one has multiple siblings with the same name. Essentially stripping the individual of their own personal identity. You become apart of a collective much akin to that of socialism. Whereas in the west the individual is celebrated were your culture, sexuality or gender identity is protected.     

When I was in Kabul and I saw women in the Burka totally devoid of their ability to even be seen as themselves I knew I would die before I would ever allow that to be the fate of my daughter. The distinction between the rights of men and women is so stark that woman are veiled in a way they have no individuality at all. They are masked and replaceable by the next form hidden behind a curtain.

With Islam “in MY perspective” they are protecting what they value above all else. Which is their mothers, wives and daughters but in doing so steal their abilities to truly be themselves and contribute in a way that can advance the world. Where as in the West we leave woman open to harassment without the protection that is rightly deserved.

This closed society that rigidly puts people into their prospective roles retards their ability to be the person they were born to be.

I believe that men and woman are equal who serve the society as a whole in different roles both of which should be equally respected and that choice as to how they want to contribute should be given to the individual Independent of the sex they where born into. 

Concerning my Islamic friends- They have been some of the most caring people I have ever met. Who took time out of their busy day to help me through what I was facing. Interacting with them and the dynamic they had in the home was not oppressive but complimentary to the “natural” roles we were intended for but there was still a divide. If anything it was a more natural one that showed respect for the complimentary way in which men and women behave.

I do not hate muslims nor the faith but I recognize the divide that exist between the 2 cultures. I am a Western man who currently fights for the survival of true equality of all humans but I ultimately side with my own camp because I feel it gives the individual the most freedom and choice for ones self.   

I’ve left town and I’m back on the road with a new excitement. The time spent in civilization allowed me to realize that it was nothing more than golden handcuffs maybe even iron handcuffs. Being alone walking again is liberating “you’ve got to put one foot in front of the other put the other foot, down, down, down.”

A smile crests across my clean shaven face and I am a happy man still clean of past living only in the present. Even though I have these weird “memories” occasionally crashing into my reality. With no real connection to them they can continue to be a work of fantasy that ones mind drifts in and out of. The questions of “Who am I” or “Why am I here” is not of my concern. What is of my concern is the beautiful sky or the warm sun.

I feel outside “of it all” which is liberating. My destination is also still unknown before that was a driving factor but after my quick brush with what Im walking away from I really don’t care to find a place in that world. The world on which I control lyes within

“hawk screech”

I wonder what that hawk is hunting…

<focus all I see is symmetrical lines observing the battlefield with a 1980’s video game screen trying to acquire a target. One of which is a massive square moving down the the black river that comes alive with predators that kill but don’t consume their prey. Why is this one smaller and moving so much slower. Zip!!!! I see horizontal movement!!!! zero in dive deploy claws and destroy>

I look off to my left and see a hawk swoop down and grab something. WOW!!! The wonders of nature. This is life this is the reality I choose to live in. No control! No constructs of man. This is what we are truly apart of and the further I remove myself from civilization the clearer this becomes. Civilization is how man controls the world he lives in. Right now I am consciously deciding to defect from the White Mans world and delve back into the wild.

Im happy drunk off the unknown but still shackled. I am content with living apart because I have no binding ties. I see a group of trees and decide to strike out into its direction because of a youthful desire to climb. Where does that come from? When I get there though I see the marks of man in anchor points made for ropes and climbing. these rocks however besides for allowing for play also cast a shadow for which I am grateful after trudging through the desert sun. So I lay down legs crossed at the ankle with my head rested on the pillow of rock and I allow myself to drift off into a deep sleep.

< I exit my body in full confidence and move with the grace of a predator to project my self UP!!!! beyond my current plane quickly punching through the hemisphere and now the cosmos. I suppose this is heaven or nirvana. there is a light peace that I feel that cant be described but there is a weight that exists due to my presence even though I am alone. Now that I am here though I feel as though I am being haunted by friends who are on the lower plane but cant transcend and are to cripple to fly in the way that they previously were able.

Carlos is dead!!!! I don’t know if that is a fact but the man I know, I fear is… In my heart I know he is gone forever. What hurts most is that we soared in this plane before together enjoying the wind lifting us effortlessly but now his wings are crippled beyond repair and he will be forced to pick at the scraps left by others.>

As I shake off this wicked dream the dusk has set itself upon the desert and I begin to climb. I am unskilled and weak but thanks to Icarus I know not to fly to high. As I strain and pull myself further from the ground there is a repatriotism into the unknown and the danger that lyes there. I see an anchor point left by someone else and i hook in with my right hand and hang and let all my weight flow out of me. In an absolutely natural hold that let go of everything that I was holding onto. if it wasn’t for the effort of my grip I would allow myself to melt apart and smear myself against the rocks but as I look up I see my next hold and explode up and grab hungrily with my left hand…. Now All I see is myself in another form that of a lizard walking effortlessly up the rock face till i find a spot to collapse and enjoy the sun and drink it in until I’ve gluttonously done so till Ive past out from overindulgence.

This is the sleep that brings the Deep Rems… Although now without the attachment to the world there is nothingness… Which is a good thing…. I want to stay in a state of nihilism

I am not happy… Many people died today… The fallout may not be nuclear but there will be a human reaction to this hit. Part of me is in morning for those who lost their lives and another part, the savage part is celebratory… I hate myself for that. The reality of it is as much as people want to champion diversity also refuse to acknowledge “Some cultures are better than others.” I am an American and I support my country and our way of life. I have traveled the world and have lived abroad for much of my adult life and I would be lying if I were to say that harmony could exist between waring nations when the core of who we are at odds. I go to war to keep the battlefield abroad… I don’t blame Trump I blame the Chamberlains of the West who appease to the point of capitulation.

In the end I want to say Fuck You!!! To anyone who has ever shouted an opinion without skin in the game. I want to say Fuck You!!! To myself who will no longer be leading Marines in a fight while I champion its cause. I want to say Fuck You!!! To every evil mother fucker who died using innocent people as a shield.

The West was tired of being pushed. We invented World War and Genocide… For my children’s sake I pray we have the sac to follow through and not give an inch and push the fight to eradicate every babe in its crib if it means preserving the freedoms all people can enjoy if they Submit. #HeWillNotDivideUs

FUUUUUCKKKKK!!!!! Im not even fully aware of the devastation but I know any life lost is worth morning. Even those I hate… Americans wanted War when we elected Trump I just hope we have the stomach to follow through with what needs to be done to finish it.